In Dan Gilbert's video, "The Surprising Science of Happiness", Gilbert challenges the idea that we'll be miserable if we don't get what we want. Thanks to this thing we might think of as a "psychological immune system", we're able to be just as happy if we don't get what we want.
In the last 2 million years, the human brain has nearly tripled in size. As it grew it gained a new part, specifically the pre-frontal cortex which allows us to simulate experiences before we try them out in real life. Let's see how your experience simulator is working. Which future would you prefer, winning the lottery or becoming paraplegic (paralysis of lower body)? You probably chose winning the lottery because you think you'd be happier. Well there is actually data on both these groups of people and a year after winning the lottery and a year after losing use of their legs, these 2 groups are equally happy. Why? Because happiness can be synthesized. We all have this "psychological immune system" which helps us change our view of the world so we can feel better. Natural happiness is what we get when we get what we wanted, and synthetic happiness is what we get when we don't get what we wanted. Gilbert's main point is that synthetic happiness is every bit as real and enduring as natural happiness. As an experiment, someone brought in 6 regular objects and asked an ordinary person to rank them from best (1) to least (6). Then they said that the subject could have one of the objects as a prize for doing this, but they only had the objects that they ranked 3 and 4 with them. This is harder because neither object was preferred very strongly but naturally the person picked 3 because they liked it a little more than 4. Sometime later the subject is asked to re-rank the 6 objects to see how much they liked them now. The subject then ranked their former choice 3 (the one they got), as a higher rank and ranked 4 (the one they didn't get) as a lower rank, "The one I got is better than I thought! The other one I didn't get sucks!" This is the synthesis of happiness. The psychological immune system works best when you're trapped, you find a way to be happy with what's happened. This is by far the most interesting Ted Talk I have watched. Gilbert talks about a lot of really interesting experiments that involve the study of people's psychological immune system and I have never been so captivated by words. I think this is an infinitely interesting subject and I sincerely encourage you to watch the actual video, I would tell you about the other experiments but I'm afraid I would not be able to stop. Please go watch the talk, you won't regret it. All in all, our world could change tremendously for the better if people realize that not getting what you want can make you just as happy as getting exactly what you wanted; Maybe even happier.
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In her video, "How to Spot a Liar", Pamela describes lying as an attempt to bridge the gap between what we are and what we wish we could be. On any day we could be lied to anywhere from 10 to 200 times a day. Lying is pretty much everywhere, She says strangers typically lie 3 times within the first 10 minutes of meeting each other. It's as old as breathing. So how do you actually spot a liar? She shows us 2 patterns of deception and the first one is speech.
In the video, Pamela shows an interview with Bill Clinton and he lies about having sexual relations with another woman. Some of the telltale signs were that he used formal language rather than informal, "I did not". He also used distancing language, "That woman". Now if he had said something like "Well, to tell you the truth.." or "In all candor.." then he would have been a dead giveaway for any lie-spotter that knows that qualifying language, and qualifying language further discredits the subject. If he had repeated the entire question or thrown in a bit too much detail, he would have even further discredited himself. Now Freud, famous Australian neurologist, had it right when thinking that there's much more to lying than speech,"No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips." This brings us to the next pattern of deception, which is body language. When dealing with body language, you've got to throw your assumptions out the window. Many people would think that liars fidget a lot. However, they're actually known to freeze their upper bodies when they're lying. We think that liars won't look you in the eyes, but they will actually look you in the eyes a little too much just to compensate for that myth. We might also think that smiles and warmth conveys honesty, but a trained lie-spotter can spot a fake smile a mile away. A liar might seem withdrawn, look down, lower their voice, or pause. We also know that a liar may shift their blink rate, point their feet toward an exit, alter their vocal tone, but here's the deal. These behaviors are just behaviors. They don't mean anything by themselves, they're not proof of deception, maybe just red flags. When you see clusters of them, now that's your signal. Lie-spotters aren't the kids in the back of the classroom playing Gotcha. No, they use scientific knowledge and they use it to get to the truth and they do what mature leaders do everyday, they have difficult conversations with difficult people, sometimes during difficult times. Now you're not going to become a liar-spotter over night and certainly not just by reading this, it takes practice and practice but these are good things to look for. There are good videos throughout the talk giving examples of liars and the things they do that gave them away. If you are interested, I recommend you watch them. I think Pamela has fantastic communication skills and she really keeps the audience captivated and wanting to know more. I enjoyed listening to her very much. It is important know that lying is a cooperative act, it has no power unless the person chooses to believe the lie. When you combine the science of recognizing a lie with the art of looking and listening, you exempt yourself from cooperating and ultimately falling into the trap of a lie. You let people know that your world is an honest one and when you do that, the world around you starts to shift just a bit. And that's the truth.
In "3 Things I learned While My Plane Crashed", Ric Elias shares publicly for the first time his story and what went through his mind while his doomed flight plummeted for Earth.
In January of 2009, Ric's plane, flight 1549, crash-landed in the Hudson River in New York. He had a unique seat that day, 1D. He was the only one that could talk to the flight attendants. As they hear a big explosion and smoke starts to fill the plane, all they can say is "No problem, we probably just hit some birds." Then the pilot lines up the plane with the Hudson River, turns off the engine and says 3 words as unemotional as possible. "Brace for impact." As Ric looked into the eyes of the attendant he says "All i could see was terror. Life was over." During this time Ric learned 3 things and the first was that it all changes in an instant. He had this bucket list of things he wanted do, people he wanted to reach out to, fences he wanted to mend and he would never get the chance to do these things. He no longer postpones anything. The second thing he learned was that he regretted the time he wasted doing things that did not matter with people that did matter. He thought about his relationship with his wife, with friends, with people, and after reflecting upon these things he decided to eliminate negative energy from his life. He doesn't fight with his wife, he doesn't try to be right, he tries to be happy. The third thing Ric learned was that he only has one wish, and that is to see his kids grow up. Above all, the only thing that matters in his life now is being a great dad. After watching this video it really makes me not want to postpone anything. I feel that if you get that close to death then you wouldn't take anything for granted, you wouldn't waste time, you wouldn't not appreciate being with family or friends, you would always see the good in things, and that I believe is extremely special. This man gets the privilege of a whole new perspective. It really makes me ask the questions: How would you change? What would you get done? How you would you change your relationships and the negative energy in them? And this one doesn't really apply to me, but are you being the best parent you can be? Just imagine if you were in his situation. You came so close to death but you were lucky enough to come out alive. How would you answer those questions? How would you change? In honor of teacher appreciation week, I would like to take some time to thank and express my words of appreciation for my wonderful art teacher, Mrs. Callaway. At the beginning of the year, I wasn't particularly enthusiastic about art in general, but throughout my freshman year Mrs. Callaway has definitely brought me to love and really enjoy art. She's been there day after day teaching us and showing us the beauty of art and she makes learning a great experience, infused with meaningful knowledge and loads of fun. She is also one of the few genuinely caring and loving teachers I've had the privilege to learn from, never turning down an opportunity to help or encourage a student no matter what she is in the middle of. Even though she probably won't see this, thank you Mrs. Callaway for all that you've done for me and many others, I couldn't ask for a more amazing teacher.
In Tony Robbins' video, "Why We Do What We Do", he talks about the "invisible forces" that motivates human actions: Our state (emotional/physical) and our model of the world or world view.
Robbins says that our view of the world shapes our meaning, emotion, and action. It's what makes people make decisions. If we want to influence someone, we have to know what already influences them. How they see the world plays a major part when finding out what influences someone. Then he goes on to further break down world view into 3 parts. First, what's our target/what are we after, which he believes is not desires but needs that we have, and Robbins says there are 6 human needs. Second, after we uncover what those needs are, what is our belief system that will help us to get to our targets. Third, what's the fuel that we pick. The 6 human needs are certainty, uncertainty (variety), significance, connection/love, growth and to contribute beyond ourselves. People go in different directions in life depending on which of these needs is the most important to them. I think this video is perfect for this project and finding what matters to me because he very well narrowed down our needs to the most appropriate ones. It will help me to answer the question, what matters to me, because now I can choose a general answer from the list of needs. As Robbins said to do, I will think deeper about my own world view so that I can appreciate what's driving other people. Robbins did a good job with linking his own experiences with people he's talked with to show how someone's world view really does change the way that people made decisions and live their life. He also would sometimes pause and ask the audience if they'd done something ("say I if you've ever..") which kept the audience involved in his talk. Tony Robbins is a fairly humorous person so that made his talk great as well. I very much enjoyed watching this video and I find this topic very interesting. Basically, this is an amazing talk on the reasoning for people's actions that I think many other people would like as well. I recommend and urge you to watch this this video and think deeper about your world view and what is most important to you. |
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